Monday, June 30, 2014

My Little Girl

For some reason, Jack Johnson has a comforting effect on my baby. Whenever she's bawling her eyes out in the car, I can turn on some of the Hawaiian's acoustic soul and she'll calm to at least a murmur.

Jack Johnson wrote this song for his little girl, but whenever I hear it, I automatically think of my little girl. I'm sure most fathers would want to sing the same song.



Hey, little girl
You might not know this song
This another kind of song that you could sing along to
Hey, little girl
Maybe someday
At least that's what all the good people will say
Hey, little girl
Look what you've done
You've gonna stole my heart and made it your own
You stole my heart and made it your own
Hey, little girl
Black and white and right and wrong
Only live inside a song I will sing to you
You don't ever have to feel lonely
You will never lose any tears
You don't have to feel any sadness
When you look back only is
How can I look you in the eyes?
And tell you such big lies
The best I can do is try to show you
How to love with no fear
My little girl
You've gonna stole my heart and made it your own
You stole my heart and made it your own

Friday, June 20, 2014

14 Things to Remember When Having a Bad Day. (And Any Other Time.)

I saw this Lifehack article and loved the insight. Read and share with those who might need a little reminder of why the world won't end.

1.  Some people will not like you and what you do.

And that’s fine. Their opinion is just that – their opinion. And not the absolute truth about you.

2.  You’ll fail.

And that’s fine too. It doesn’t mean you haven’t got what it takes. It just means it didn’t work out as expected. Know that you’ll thrive tomorrow thanks to the mistakes you’re willing to make today.

3.  Success is the action you took, not the result.

Value the effort and dedication you put in – especially when the results are less than what you hoped for. You did show up. You actually took action, and that deserves a pat on the back.
Don’t use any less than results to beat yourself up with. Those results as just feedback to inform your next step – no more, no less.

4.  A should is just a could in disguise.

Don’t should yourself into doing something.
It’s not because it worked for them that it is right for you. It’s not because you always did something that you need to keep doing it. It’s not because they expect you to do something that you should comply.
Every should holds a choice – even though the should might present itself as a unshakable truth or a must comply with instruction for how to live your life.
Replace the should with a could - literally – and see how all of a sudden abundant possibility opens up.

5.  A halfhearted yes makes everyone lose out – you included.

You, them, the work you are doing – we all lose when you don’t engage 100%.
When you say yes to something, give it your all. And if it’s not a 100% yes, then make it a no.
You’ll be astounded by how much time you’ll free up to spend with people that truly nurture you.  You’ll be amazed by how much time you’ll free up to do things that truly light you up.

6.  A tiny change does make a big difference.

Do just a bit more of what makes your heart sing and soul soar each day. And just a little less of what drains you. You’ll be astounded by what a huge difference those small changes make.

7.  Slow and steady is good – even when everyone else seems to be moving fast.

Slow and steady can move mountains. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you should take big steps and turn your life upside down overnight because someone else did.
Choose a pace that works for you and keep moving one tiny step at a time.

8.  Other people’s success is not a prescription for how to live your life, nor a measure of your worthiness.

Be inspired by other people who are living their dreams and know that their success doesn’t mean that you are a failure for not being where they are in life.
Use their approach to life as an inspiration to fuel your dreams. See them as an example of what’s possible, but stick to your own voice, your style, your personality, your pace.
Don’t copy them and how they do what they do – you’ll never be able to be as good as the original, nor should you.

9.  All is not as it seems.

Your outside doesn’t always reflect how you feel inside. Neither does their outside always reflect how they feel inside.
So don’t be fooled by appearances. Don’t sabotage yourself by thinking that they always got all the answers, oozing confidence 24/7.
They search for answers too. They feel small, worried and insecure too. That’s how we all do it.

10.  Rest is not a luxury. Rest is a necessity.

So rest. Vigorously.
Rest is fuel for the soul. It’s not a waste of time, but a life-saver. Don’t save on it.

11.  Laughter truly lights up a bad day.

Yes, that sounds cheesy. But yes, it is the truth – genuine laughter and a dose of playfulness do light up a tense conversation, a gloomy mood, a rainy day.
So laugh. Be goofy. Be playful. A lot. And then some.

12.  You are your soulmate.

Shower yourself with love. Just because. Unapologetically. Unconditionally. And even when the going gets tough.
Love yourself when you’re happy and love yourself when you’re not. Because there’s not a moment when you don’t deserve your love.

13.  You are a one-of-a-kind original.

Honor what makes you you – instead of hiding it.
Your ideas, your voice, your style, your way of doing things, your work, your dreams – they’re as worthy as anybody else’s.
They’re what make you irresistible to the people who truly get you. They’re what make you irresistible to yourself – fulfilled, joyful and free.

14.  Following your fascination brings you closer to who you truly are.

It might seem crazy, weird, stupid and out-of-character, but explore your fascination nonetheless.
Your fascination is a pointer to something you are longing for, something that you might need to bring into your life. It’s your soul talking to you. Make sure you listen.

What do you remind yourself of when having a bad day? What do you tell yourself to find your footing back?

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Look What My Kid Can Do! Look! I SAID LOOK! Competitive Parenting in the Age of Social Media

My Facebook news feed used to be full of late night party pics and pretty girls with duck faces. Flash forward a few years, now all I see are snapshots of babies sleeping and young kids playing sports. I'm no creeper, this is just social media maturation...or is it?

Parents, myself included, are quick to post up-to-the-minute updates of their kids' accomplishments. No matter how mundane, today's youngster achievement is THE GREATEST THING EVA! #mykidisbetterthanyours
This is the good, the bad and the ugly of parent pride.

Joey smiled at a clown today! Sarah crapped her pants at the mall! Penelope mistook cabbage for lettuce!

Don't get me wrong, it's a great thing that parents are involved in their kids' lives and find it so easy to brag about their offspring. Hell, I even started a blog to share my thoughts on parenthood. Moms used to sit around the playground and boast about their kids' latest achievements. But let's be honest, these vampire kids don't play outside anymore, and it's much easier to snap a pic and upload it for the world to see all while sitting on your couch eating Doritos.

But sometimes I find myself getting caught in a trap with social media. I see a picture of a friend's baby doing something crazy cool...and I immediately think "Anlee could do that better!" My parent competitiveness comes out. I can top that, I'm a better dad than him, my baby is smarter, my baby is more athletic, my baby is messier, yada yada yada.

Is this competitive parenting a good thing? Yes and no.

Yes: because by seeing what other parents are doing, it might inspire me to try something new with my kid. Just a little push to explore. Or maybe all I needed was a simple reminder that I should spend more time with my baby.

No: because I could be doing things just to one up the next parent. I don't really have my child's best interest in mind...I just want to show off how good of a dad I am and throw it in your face on Facebook. And if my kid doesn't match up to what your kid does, is he/she a failure? We very well could be pushing our kids too far or setting too high expectations for where they should be. "If my baby is talking by six months, that validates me as a parent and I'll be king of the mountain."

Don't do things to be better than the next guy, do things to be better. (Period)   

So am I saying we should all stop posting about our kids doing great things? Not at all.

I will continue to use every piece of modern technology to proclaim Anlee's awesomeness. You can bet your last magic bean that if my baby is doing algebra before she can walk...she'll be on the Today Show because of my YouTube video with a million hits.

But where I have to stop myself is trying to outdo other parents, other babies, other viral unrealities. Instead of seeing the bar set high, I only need to look right in front of me...to focus on my family, not yours.